


Breathe In Breathe Out

by frecklesarechocolate



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-11
Updated: 2013-05-11
Packaged: 2017-12-11 13:09:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/799093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frecklesarechocolate/pseuds/frecklesarechocolate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel didn’t think he’d ever get the hang of sleeping. Or that he’d particularly enjoy it once he was able to finally get to sleep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breathe In Breathe Out

Castiel didn’t think he’d ever get the hang of sleeping. Or that he’d particularly enjoy it once he was able to finally get to sleep.

He just assumed that it would be just one more thing he would have to learn how to endure as a fallen angel. Or, rather, as a human. 

Everything took so much _effort_ now. Eating. Bathing. Moving from one place to another. Time dragged on and minutes seemed like hours, and he was irritable and snappish most of the time.

Oh, but there were things Cas did enjoy, but they were mostly things that he had always enjoyed. 

He enjoyed watching Dean. Watching the smile play across Dean’s lips when he was driving. Watching the crinkles appear at the corner’s of his eyes when he laughed about something. It was especially pleasing to realize that Cas could see those more frequently these days. Dean seemed to smile much more than he used to.

There were new things to enjoy as well. 

Kissing, it turns out, is actually quite enjoyable. Kissing Dean was… well, it was most likely the closest that Cas would ever get to being back in Heaven. Dean’s kisses were intense, passionate and yet held so much tenderness that with each kiss, Cas fell a little bit more in love.

Feeling Dean’s warmth nestled against his own body in the evenings as they lay in bed together quickly became Cas’s favorite moments during the day. Dean’s incessant hum of energy seemed to quiet as they manoeuvred together in the dark, aligning their bodies with each other so that they fit together like a puzzle, arms and legs overlapping, chest to back, fingers laced. It was as if Dean needed the weight of Cas’s body next to or even on top of his own to anchor him down at night.

It was this closeness, this comfort and warmth that made it possible for Cas to finally be able to fall asleep. It took weeks of nightmares and long nights drinking coffee and pacing the library for Cas to finally stay the night in Dean’s bed, to allow the arms of sleep to capture him as surely as Dean’s had. 

Those last few moments of the night before they fell asleep would be spent whispering soft words to each other. Checking in with each other; first reassuring themselves that they are both whole, safe, alive, and then exchanging kisses, at times soft, at others, intense, desperate, needy. Kisses meant to assure that they were still there together, and in love; and though they hadn’t said that yet, Cas had never been more sure of anything, ever. Acknowledging his love for Dean was never difficult for Cas. What had been difficult was allowing himself to receive Dean’s love, and to express his feelings for this man, this beautiful man who carried so much burden, pain and responsibility on his shoulders and hardly ever accepted anything for himself. Until this.

Dean almost always falls asleep first, virtually shutting down. He makes small snuffling noises in his sleep, curls deeper into the shell of Cas’s body, burrowing his face into the curve of Cas’s neck, breathing out hot, moist air. Cas will lie in the dark, eyes closed, drifting just above sleep for at least an hour longer, listening to Dean breathe, feeling the rise and fall of Dean’s chest behind him or beneath the palm of the hand that Cas has slid around Dean. The rhythm of Dean’s breath is hypnotic for Cas, and it oh-so-slowly lulls him into sleep.

Cas has yet to enjoy mornings. As an experience, waking is one that Cas could have done without. The feeling of swimming toward the surface of a deep, dark pool, the disorientation just before consciousness returns; even wrapped in Dean’s arms, it’s unpleasant for Cas. Even when Dean wakes him with kisses and words of endearment: “Come on sweetheart, it’s time to get up,” even then, Cas does not enjoy waking up. He resists it, screws his eyes shut and mumbles irritable words at Dean, words he doesn’t mean, not really.

But Dean Winchester is nothing if not persistent. He didn’t get to be the best hunter on the planet by giving up easily. If he has a mind to wake his friend, he will, and he will use all his wiles to do so, and once Cas is fully awake, he can admit that he’s okay with that. 

Learning to be human is difficult for Cas in many ways. Learning to be with Dean, by contrast, is the easiest part.

Inspired in part by [this](http://deanhugchester.tumblr.com/post/49944393489).

 

**Author's Note:**

> Crossposted on my [Tumblr](http://deanhugchester.tumblr.com) and LiveJournal.


End file.
